I smell stomach acid.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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