someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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