Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
