its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
