Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
