I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize