Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
