should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
