she was so not down for the gang bang
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
