It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
