if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
