Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
