Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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