WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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