He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
