Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
