Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize