Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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