One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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