There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
