WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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