with your own penis?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
