We won't sleep together?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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