airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
