Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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