I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
