If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
