I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
