those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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