the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
