Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
