It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize