My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize