exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
