is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
