Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
