I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
