Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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