They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize