Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She even gives head with a lisp.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
