The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
