The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
