and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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