i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
