I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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