I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
handjob tips. give me some.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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