You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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