I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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