I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
