all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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