You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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