Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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