so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
