:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
