Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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