I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
