do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize