Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
