It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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