i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
