he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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