Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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