I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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