Christians are straight up FREAKS
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So much rum. So many feels.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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