1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize