just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
