And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
