It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
