Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
