I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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