How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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